Modern Day Message in a Bottle
September 20th, 2009
The Life Alert commercials are back, but they no longer feature the “I’ve fallen and I can’t get up” lady, which isn’t a great sales pitch because there aren’t many reasons why she wouldn’t be around for the sequel.
“I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP” LADY: I’ve fallen and I can’t get up. Hello? Hello??? Oh, dear, I’ve fallen and I forgot to replace the batteries in my Life Alert.”
[DIES LATE THE NEXT DAY; HER BODY IS FOUND THREE WEEKS LATER]
Alternate Ending #1
[THE “I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP” LADY VIOLENTLY FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS, HURLING HER LIFE ALERT BUTTON OUT OF REACH; SHE DIES LATE THE NEXT DAY]
Alternate Ending #2
[THE “I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP” LADY TAKES A VIOLENT FALL DOWN THE STAIRS, KILLING HER INSTANTLY]