Ryan Stayton

Period pieces flagrantly skip over the time between the challenge to a duel and the duel itself, which typically went a little something like so:

The CHALLENGER slaps the CHALLENGED across the face with a white satin glove.

CHALLENGER: I challenge thee to a duel!

CHALLENGED: Oh. Okay.

The Challenger scampers off.

CHALLENGED (CONT’D, TO SELF): I better start practicing how to use a gun.

CUT TO:

MONTAGE - ALL NIGHT GUN TRAINING SEQUENCE

Most fancy lads had little to no gun training prior to being challenged to a duel.

VICTIM #1: But you’re not a UPS delivery man. You’re Bob De Niro.

"But you're not my librarian. You're Angela Lansburg. Oh, you're a volunteer at the library. That's hot."

I HEART HOT TOWELS! My love makes me wonder why I don’t treat myself to hot towels at home, because they’re not exactly hard to *make*.

In related news, I’m starting my own business, which until I think of a better name will be called Hot or Not Towels? Hot! These Towels are Definitely Hot.

Never accept a hot towel from a stranger not using tweezers.

1. Win more than 50% of my tic-tac-toe matches.

Okay, 0 for 1.